Masturbation

Dear Honey:

I cannot masturbate.

It's not that I don't know how to, and it's not that I'm not horny because, trust me, I am! Basically every time I begin to finger or pleasure myself in any way I lose interest after about 10 seconds. It's not just me either, whenever I'm with a man its the same deal,

Horny as no other one-second and wondering what groceries I need to pick up the next. Please help!

Thanks,
Severely Unsatisfied

Hi Unsatisfied,
You know, it’s important that you know how your body works and what turns you on. For some women, mentally preparing a grocery list MAY be the elixir to making her wet and aroused. For others, it’s the deep secret fantasy that she’s having wild monkey sex with the pool guy while her husband is at work, or better: watching.

Women need mental stimulation. So my advice is to FOCUS GIRL and concentrate on an image, scene, sexual memory, or fantasy that will have your fingers doing the walking in no time. No woman would like a partner to spend a mere 10 seconds on pleasuring us; and nor should your body settle for 10 brief seconds with your fingers. Even if you have the attention span of a stapler, you have to focus, concentrate and make sure your fingers are wet.

Also, don’t just focus on your clitoris and vadge. Start with a candlelight shower, put a lovely cd on, watch a porn movie if you’re feeling nasty, or pretend someone is in bed with you and its THEIR hands. You wouldn’t like it if he went straight for the love canal, and nor should you. Start at the top and work your way down. Stroke your face, your nipples in a sensual circular motion. Knead your breasts, and close your eyes and concentrate. Eventually your hands can trail downstairs and take you to that lovely throbbing place you deserve. Keep it wet, small circles, apply a little pressure here and there and imagine....

If you find that the grocery list gets in the way, imagine a guy eating you out while you’re making the grocery list. It’s in your imagination and your imagination has the power to take you to many places. You’ve just gotta unlock it…

If you're successful in achieving the Big O, please write back and let us know how it worked for you.

If you're not successful, we can re-look at the issue.

Happy rubbin'
Smack