Dear Honey,
My dear friend is driving me crazy with her endless phone calls about a man she is seeing. She says he is extremely sexual, there is lots of foreplay, he is rock hard, but in the ten or so times they've had sex, he's never had an orgasm.
He has outright stated to her that he thinks she is using him for sex, and that he doesn't trust women. But she is fond of him and tells him otherwise. In most other areas, he is very kind and affectionate. They even went away this weekend with their respective children. I think this whole scenario is odd but beyond that, I have no advice for her.
She is 46; he is 45 and a doctor. He brags to her about his knowledge of female anatomy (which I find odd, also). Why would a man have no trouble getting hard, and in fact be a bit of a braggadocio about his sexual finesse and then not orgasm?
Unfortunately, she won't approach a discussion with him about this.
Thank you,
A good friend (or trying to be)
Dear good friend,
Maybe he’s gay and doesn’t know it. I think he’s trying to kid himself by bragging about his anatomical knowledge and what not.
I’ve known closeted gay guys to be extremely sexual and very in tune with a women’s body, because they are over-compensating for their lack of real interest or he's faking it to himself. Real interest = real orgasms. Or, perhaps he needs to seek medical advice outside of himself!
Before she invests any further time with him, (especially with her children) I would be getting advice from a gay advice line and let their gaydar knowledge set her free into a land of orgasming, straight men that she so obviously deserves.
This is about your friend more than him. If she wants to stay with a man that doesn't trust women and be used as a whipping post for all things anti-women, than maybe it is HER that has the problem with accepting less than she deserves.
The fact that she won't approach a discussion with him about this is a warning sign in itself.
Until she decides to talk to him about it, I would ask that she stop whining about it to you.
He's either gay, a mysognist or needs to see a doctor. Either way, it is not her problem to deal with.
Much luv
Smack,
4 comments:
y does he need to orgasm? Are he and she enjoying the sex? I honestly don't see it as his problem but rather hers...Does SHE feel less because she can't get him off? How long ago did he break up with his last partner? (I assume wife as he has children). Does he feel guilty because of the kids (his and hers). Has he been depressed and if he is on antidepressants then he probably will never come...he may be able to perform the act but most depressants will block his ability to climax. This sounds as if it is a relatively new relationship. Why doesn't she just give it some time? Just my two cents worth defending men :)
I agree with you, Smackadoodle doo. It's definitely one of those three things.
One of my friend's was telling me about her boyfriend and justifying his lack of regard for her and not just with the big things, the little things, too.
We deserve the best. We shouldn't settle for anything less.
The dude could also have a porn addiction. A lot of men who are addicted to porn can't climax with a chick. It's possible he just spent too many years wackin' it alone... I'm just sayin'...
He's on viagra. The lil blue pill gives you blue steel but makes it very difficult to cum at times.
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